you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
