i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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