Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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