I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
