so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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