Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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