someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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