Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
