but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize