just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
