Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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