I wish I could teleport
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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