Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
