HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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