I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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