my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
