Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
