just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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