im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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