I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
