i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
