Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize