that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
