I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
