when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
