I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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