he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
