so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
