Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
