in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
