perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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