Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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