we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
