you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
it's like iHOP with fire
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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