I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
