he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
