There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize