Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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