Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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