Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
