i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How's work?
Spinning.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
