Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
