u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
