It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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