I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
