My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
