Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize