she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
