i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize