I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
