i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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