i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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