I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
