I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He shit in the fireplace
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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