her vagine was all disorganized.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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