this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
