Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
