She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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