The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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