I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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