FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
