you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
