Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize