just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
