I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize