hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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