I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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