So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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