Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
