Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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