Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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