found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
