I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
