She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
