I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
